White House Sends Email Ignoring The Crazy

The White House emailed me again. The first time they did it, the missive was about Betsy DeVos. I fixed it for them here.

This time, the email was about Trump’s address to Congress. Doesn’t it already seem like that happened a million years ago? Still, since they went through the trouble of sending it out yesterday, I thought I’d be helpful and fix this one too.

You’re welcome, White House!

“Ok, I’m over Trump sounding sane in 1 hour speech. Sessions met with Russians too. Focus! Demand a full investigation of Trump-Russia ties now!”

-Ana Navarro

“Trump said corporations pay the highest tax rates in the world. Not true. 1 in 5 large profitable companies pay $0 in federal income tax.”

-Bernie Sanders

“Trump is like an abusive boyfriend who acts nice for one day and thinks that will make everything ok.”

-Too many people on Twitter to count

“Yeah. I said he became “presidential” in that moment. I’m a tv commentator for fuck’s sake. I can’t be eloquent and perfectly correct every single second. You try making sense of that man on live television for hours at a time before judging me.”

-Van Jones*

*Van Jones didn’t really say this

*I know you don’t really want to say “President Pence” either.