The BEST crimes, and so many of them! — Phew! Who can keep track of all these Trump crimes? It’s like the Corleones and the Shelbys had an AI hate child who can’t stop spewing ALL CAP posts on Truth Social. …

What could possibly go wrong? — Things are really bad, folks. People are divided. The future of our civilization is at stake, but never fear! My purchase of this $44b Town Square is going to save humanity. …

I’m the least racist person in this white mermaid fetish chat room! — I’m not a racist! I am just grieved to see our beloved Western cultural institutions fall prey to the tyranny of woke ideology and “multiethnic” groupthink. …

If you pay close attention to politics, you may suddenly be hearing the word “grooming” a lot. That’s because we’re at an essential transition point, where an idea or a trope moves from the fringe to the mainstream. —Washington Post Oh my Lord there is grooming happening. It is all…

Your cookies are evil, fattening and funding the Soros cabal — Co-written By Fiona Taylor Girl Scout cookie sellers as young as 5 are being harassed for selling unhealthy food and a conspiracy theory about cookie money funding abortion — Insider Hey, there little girl! Aren’t you sweet, selling your Tagalongs® in your Daisy uniform? Aww, the sales proceeds fund your troop’s activities? As a…

Amy, Brett, and Neil set the bar so low, we can smell sulfur. —

Are you cramming your kids’ summer holidays with art camp and swimming lessons and a lifetime membership at the local bouncy castle? You might believe that you’re killing two birds with one stone — alleviating your child’s boredom AND preserving the threadbare string that barely connects you to your sanity. …

Don’t tally your accomplishments. Here’s what really matters. — “It’s the end of the decade. What have you accomplished in the past 10 years?” That’s the Twitter prompt that has been making us doubt our life choices lately. (Right? Or just me?) …

What is Black Friday? Black Friday is a day when it’s great to be an American, especially a wealthy one with the elbows of a Philadelphia Eagles nose tackle whose hobbies include staying up all night and camping out in front of Walmart. When is Black Friday? The day after…